Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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