Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
