We tried having a conversation with our noses.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
