I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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