Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
