I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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