Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
