her facebook's as public as her vagina
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
