Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
