i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
