grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
