Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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