No awkward lesbian experiences without me
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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