just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
