Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
