Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
