Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
