Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
