Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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