so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
