First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
