I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
