I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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