Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
