If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
