I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
