i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
