What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Say something about gay babies.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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