Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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