I accidentally had phone sex last night
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
