covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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