i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
