Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
