OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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