he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
