Those balls look pretty dangerous.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
how drunk are you?
Several
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
