Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
