I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
