So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
