no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
