you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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