2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
2020 sucks, I want a refund
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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