dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
The air taste purple.
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