hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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