can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
