Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
