***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
