That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
