So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i barfeds in our rink
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
