just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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