i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
