please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
