I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
