remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
