Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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