opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
