Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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