The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
