your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
