highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
