So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
