Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
