nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
