you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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