Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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