If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
