HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
